If i come over, it means nothing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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