What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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