hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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