the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
