My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
