I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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