Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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