I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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