After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
