his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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