I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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