i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She bit a glass in half.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
