They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Girls should come with a carfax report
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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