First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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