sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
