How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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