love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
