Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
