I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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