I only kidnapped one of them. chill
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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