If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize