Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
