her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
