Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Did I show you my penis last night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My liver just had a heart attack.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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