Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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