im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
