yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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