I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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