Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
