Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
