i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
