My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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