Need sex. Gaining weight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
