You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize