it hurts more in the daytime
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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