I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
