Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
