i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How does it feel to date your dad?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize