I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
