Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
