is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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