i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize