Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
