I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
