I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize