You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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