Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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