Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
