Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
