Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize