you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
