I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need to sanitize my soul.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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