Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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