I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
