were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
