Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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