I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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