I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
